Separating from or divorcing a partner is never easy—especially when your ex is a narcissist. Divorcing a narcissist can be challenging and emotionally draining, but there are ways to make the process less stressful.

What is Narcissism?

Merriam-Webster defines a narcissist as "an individual showing symptoms of or affected by narcissism: an extremely self-centered person who has an exaggerated sense of self-importance."

The American Psychiatric Association provides a more clinical definition: "a pervasive pattern of grandiosity (sense of superiority in fantasy or behavior), need for admiration, and lack of empathy."

Why Divorcing a Narcissist is Challenging

At Bloom Family Law when we are dealing with narcissistic opposing parties, their lack of empathy proves to be their most profound and challenging characteristic. This absence of empathy often drives unreasonable demands and/or expectations, intentional conflict escalation, and a willingness to spend thousands on attorneys rather than compromise.

The most challenging type of narcissist is the master manipulator. These individuals are particularly dangerous during separation or divorce proceedings because they tend to:

  • Deliberately increase conflict, driving up attorneys' fees on both sides
  • Carefully calculate every written and verbal communication
  • Excel at appearing reasonable before judges while creating chaos outside the courtroom
  • Seize every opportunity to delay proceedings
  • Frequently threaten court action to control their ex-partner
  • Thrive on conflict and maintaining control over the case

How to Deal with Divorcing a Narcissist

Despite their manipulation tactics, our team of experienced divorce attorneys can and will guide your case to completion—even if your narcissistic ex fights us every step of the way! There are some methods and tips for dealing with narcissistic behavior during a divorce that may make this challenging process a bit easier to get through.

Establishing Effective Boundaries

Below are some crucial steps to help manage interactions with a narcissistic ex.

  1. Set Clear Communication Parameters
    • Choose one form of communication (email is recommended)
    • Establish a 48-72 hour response window for non-emergencies
  2. Decision-Making Framework
    Before agreeing to any requests (unless mandated by court order), ask yourself:
    • Am I 100% comfortable with this request?
    • Are there hidden conditions I'm also comfortable with?
    • Am I agreeing due to their threats to take me to court? If yes, then you’re not 100% comfortable with the request!
  3. The Golden Rule: Take a Lap
    When receiving triggering correspondence:
    • Pause before responding
    • Remember that narcissists often use half-truths and exaggerations to provoke reactions
    • Consider: "Would I be comfortable with a judge reading my response?"

Contact Bloom Family Law for Professional Support

While divorcing a narcissist is certainly a challenging process, you don't have to navigate it alone. If you're considering separation or divorce from a partner with narcissistic traits, our divorce lawyers are here to discuss your options.

At Bloom Family Law, we understand the extra challenges divorces like these can bring and are ready to help guide you through this process. Contact us today to schedule a consultation to discuss the specifics of your case.